Hannah and Sarah are always fighting because they want me to have only one girlfriend. But I want to have three girlfriends. 

Mama, I will stay with you forever, but can I still love womens?

Do you know what you should absolutely never ever do? Stop a cow while she is running. 

Mama, do you have a baby in your belly? Is it going to hatch soon?

Don't worry mama, I will never let you down. 

Hey, you know who's definitely bigger than a fox? Elephants. You knew that.